Surgery – Again!

Well…we (I) had a hiccup after my surgery and on-going recovery. I developed a spinal fluid leak that put me flat on my back for many days then a second surgery.

I’ve actually lost track of time. I was flat on my back before I came to the hospital, headaches due to a spinal fluid leaks and more time on my back…on and on it went!

Not in my plans!

The headaches were debilitating. Blinding.

I wish I could say it was a deep spiritual experience. It wasn’t. I couldn’t read or write while flat on my back. I prayed but not as I expected. I felt guilty. Why couldn’t/didn’t I talk with the One who loves me so much? And can heal and comfort as none other.

I don’t know how to answer that. It’s as if I went into an ozone. So what does that mean? I asked myself a lot of questions. Like, ‘Did I really love the Lord?”, “Was I even saved?”. “Is He #1, my priority?”

I had just been lazy. Or had I? God is gracious and let me know He understands severe pain is distracting. He doesn’t judge me for my neglect because I was preoccupied with pain and trying to understand why my back wasn’t healing as I expected. Several times He did it in a special way.

One night had been very difficult but I was encouraged by my nurse who identified herself as a believer. She prayed over me. In the morning I turned on Fox and Friends at the end of their program. They had Chris Tomlin on and he sang, “You’re a good, good Father.” Why would a secular news program have him sing that song? And what are the chances I’d turn it on to hear it? It went straight to my heart. God was assuring me He is taking good care of me. He is aware of my medical setbacks. He is seeing me through it.

I’m still in the hospital but hope to go home tomorrow. My 13th day for this trip – 17 days total. No. This wasn’t in my plans but God knew about it and took care of me. I can trust His plans! And He is faithful.