I have wondered if my “light” comes on as soon as the darkness arrives. What do I try to use to keep the light going in my own way? Busyness? TV? Food? Does it shine brightly throughout the night? Or in the battle, do I get weary and the light dims?  Is there something that delays the light? Like sin or self.

I took this picture while at the beach last year. I actually took a series to show the dawn in all its stages. Now these photos run on my computer so each day as I come into my office I am greeted with the beauty of the sunrise.

I am reminded of Revelation 22:5, “And there shall no longer be any night: and they shall not have need of the light of the sun, because the Lord God shall illumine them…” Can you imagine the day when all will be illumined by the very presence of God Almighty!  We are told, “And He is the radiance of His glory…” My imagination can run with that!

I have a little “hot spot” that plugs into my computer, supplied by my cellular service, that pulls in the internet – for a price, of course. Well it quit – just as I was getting ready to pay bills. Arrugh! I tapped it. Turned everything off and started again. Nothing! There was no reason for it to quit.

I confess that I am technologically challenged – big time. (I still want a TV with an on and off button – not all these fancy remotes. But anyway…) I called technical support. I am sure you all are familiar with the rigmarole you go through…”Press 1 if you want English (Arrugh), key in the phone number you are calling about, what are the last four digits of your Social Security number, please hold – it will be about 45 minutes”. So I sat there listening to all their appeals for better service options. (I just wanted better service!) Finally, someone came on the line and we went through it all again! “What is the phone number you are calling about, who are you, what are the last 4 digits of your social security number…How can I help you? Let me get you to the right person.” So I waited some more. I had things that needed to be done!! Finally, a very nice man came on the phone and took me through all sorts of tests with the hot spot. In the process of doing this I asked where he was located. Nebraska. Was it cold? No. Was it really flat? Yes.  We chit chatted while the tests were run.

We couldn’t get it working and so he said he would have to send out a replacement. He asked if 2 day delivery would be OK. I told him I was a writer and needed it sooner. He then said, “You are famous.” I assured him that I was not but I had a famous father. He said. “No, your father is mega famous and you are famous.” (I am so glad I had been pleasant!!) I asked him how he knew that and he said he had read my book, In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart. He was a former pastor. I gathered that he had burned out and was doing this to have a break from the stress and pressure of being a pastor. I have a real burden for such pastors. We talked a bit about the need for pastors to have support. They are isolated and pedestalized. He agreed and we had a great conversation.

I hung up and felt I had a friend. It made me so aware of the need to reach pastors. I have a vision for a pastor’s summit where pastors can network, be transparent, hear from other pastors who struggle…The need is there. But the funding has not been. And I am not sure I am one to lead an organiztion…I am more than happy to come alongside and help others who are doing it.

Back to my story…he said he would send a replacement, no cost to me, by Fed Ex for next day delivery. I was away when the Fed Ex man came and he needed a signature! So it would be delivered the following day! When it did come, I could not get the back off of it – it was tighter than a tick – so had to run to the local store. She was able to do it in an New York minute. I felt so dumb. I took it home and it still didn’t work. I called tech support again and went through the whole process again. Now I was told it needed a new sim card! So back to the store I went. Still it didn’t work. So I called technical support. Yes…we went through the process AGAIN! After an hour the person figured out that the codes were wrong! And once he had them set correctly, I was in business.

All this spells “FRUSTRATION”. During this time, I tried to focus on what possible purpose was there to all of this. God works through such situations. What was He telling me? Interruptions can be avenues for ministry. Think of all the interruptions in Jesus’ life that lead to great ministry. I have along way to go.

Whoever invented the automatic answering machines!!! I am so glad we don’t get an answering device when we call heaven. We get God every time. He is attentive immediately!

Simeon was a remarkable man. He had lived a long, full life. I can imagine his parents had raised him in the synagogue and taught him all that the prophets had foretold about the coming Messiah. Now he is an old man. There wasn’t anything extraordinary about Simeon except that he believed the promise of God. Prompted by the Holy Spirit, Simeon had cherished in his heart the hope that before he died he would see the Messiah. He waited year after year.

What made Simeon believe that God would actually break His centuries-long silence during his lifetime? Did Simeon really think this moment in history was the time for the Messiah? Surely many people in previous generations had hoped theirs would be the moment. Why here? Why now? But Simeon wasn’t moved by circumstances or events. Simeon simply kept on trusting God to keep His promise.

I’m sure not every day of his life was exceptional. Nonetheless, day by day Simeon put one foot in front of the other, fulfilling his devotion to God and trusting that God’s timing was better than his own. I wonder how many faces Simeon studied as he walked to the temple each day. Could that be the Messiah? Could that man be the one? Is this the day?  I would have given up hope, but Simeon stayed faithful, cultivating his relationship with the Lord and keeping watch for the promise that had been given to him.

Imagine with me the scene at the temple the day that Jesus, just eight days old, is brought for dedication to the Lord. It is an ordinary day. People are coming and going. Rituals are being observed. There are no signs to indicate anything special is about to happen. The temple officials and priests go about their many tasks. Worshippers fulfill their ritual obligations. Then a young couple enters the temple courts, carrying their infant son to present him to the Lord and to offer the required sacrifice. The couple is very poor, only able to offer two turtledoves as prescribed by the Law.

Simeon is in the temple that day, and he notices the young couple. He sees them. He sees their baby. Whatever might have been in his heart, Simeon allows God to be God. He looks at the baby and he knows: This is the Christ, the Messiah! What were Simeon’s thoughts? We can only imagine the joy. Wonder. Awe. Relief. I wonder if he clapped his hands and laughed. I am sure he was itching to get his hands on that child. Any grandparent knows the feeling!

I can see Simeon approaching the couple slowly, reverently. His eyes see so much. Not only the little family but the future. Was he afraid? Certainly he trusted God. Imagine the awe he must have felt. He doesn’t yell out and say, “Look here people! This is the Messiah come to rescue us! Stop what you are doing. God has come as He promised.” He doesn’t draw attention to himself. Nor does he rush God’s process of revelation. Simeon is discreet. He is a man who walks in step with the Lord. He exercises wisdom, allowing God to unfold His plans in His own way.

Simeon approaches gently and holds out his arms, asking permission to hold the child. He holds the baby close. Smells His baby smell. Looks into those eternal eyes and knows he holds the Savior of the world to his heart. What must he have felt? What were his emotions? Inexplicable joy. Gratitude. Praise. Tears must have coursed down that old weathered face. At that moment, the hope of his life is being fulfilled! Not necessarily as he expected. Or when he expected. But God had fulfilled the long-awaited hope.

As we enter 2011 may we all learn from Simeon: He believed and anticipated the promises; he was a man of hope; he trusted God; he faithfully served in the meantime and cultivated his relationship with God as he allowed God to be God.

(adapted from Fear Not Tomorrow, God is Already There)

New Years brings anticipation. Anticipation of what is ahead and an opportunity to leave the past behind. We have no idea what lies ahead in 2012. I certainly hope it is better than 2011. But regardless our hope is in God. We bnelieve Jeremiah 29:11. Simeon is someone we should study and emulate when it comes to anticipation.

Simeon was a remarkable man. He had lived a long, full life. I can imagine his parents had raised him in the synagogue and taught him all that the prophets had foretold about the coming Messiah. Now he is an old man. There wasn’t anything extraordinary about Simeon except that he believed the promise of God. Prompted by the Holy Spirit, Simeon had cherished in his heart the hope that before he died he would see the Messiah. He waited year after year.

What made Simeon believe that God would actually break His centuries-long silence during his lifetime? Did Simeon really think this moment in history was the time for the Messiah? Surely many people in previous generations had hoped theirs would be the moment. Why here? Why now? But Simeon wasn’t moved by circumstances or events. Simeon simply kept on trusting God to keep His promise.

I’m sure not every day of his life was exceptional. Nonetheless, day by day Simeon put one foot in front of the other, fulfilling his devotion to God and trusting that God’s timing was better than his own. I wonder how many faces Simeon studied as he walked to the temple each day. Could that be the Messiah? Could that man be the one? Is this the day?  I would have given up hope, but Simeon stayed faithful, cultivating his relationship with the Lord and keeping watch for the promise that had been given to him.

Imagine with me the scene at the temple the day that Jesus, just eight days old, is brought for dedication to the Lord. It is an ordinary day. People are coming and going. Rituals are being observed. There are no signs to indicate anything special is about to happen. The temple officials and priests go about their many tasks. Worshippers fulfill their ritual obligations. Then a young couple enters the temple courts, carrying their infant son to present him to the Lord and to offer the required sacrifice. The couple is very poor, only able to offer two turtledoves as prescribed by the Law.

Simeon is in the temple that day, and he notices the young couple. He sees them. He sees their baby. Whatever might have been in his heart, Simeon allows God to be God. He looks at the baby and he knows: This is the Christ, the Messiah! What were Simeon’s thoughts? We can only imagine the joy. Wonder. Awe. Relief. I wonder if he clapped his hands and laughed. I am sure he was itching to get his hands on that child. Any grandparent knows the feeling!

I can see Simeon approaching the couple slowly, reverently. His eyes see so much. Not only the little family but the future. Was he afraid? Certainly he trusted God. Imagine the awe he must have felt. He doesn’t yell out and say, “Look here people! This is the Messiah come to rescue us! Stop what you are doing. God has come as He promised.” He doesn’t draw attention to himself. Nor does he rush God’s process of revelation. Simeon is discreet. He is a man who walks in step with the Lord. He exercises wisdom, allowing God to unfold His plans in His own way.

Simeon approaches gently and holds out his arms, asking permission to hold the child. He holds the baby close. Smells His baby smell. Looks into those eternal eyes and knows he holds the Savior of the world to his heart. What must he have felt? What were his emotions? Inexplicable joy. Gratitude. Praise. Tears must have coursed down that old weathered face. At that moment, the hope of his life is being fulfilled! Not necessarily as he expected. Or when he expected. But God had fulfilled the long-awaited hope.

As we enter 2011 may we all learn from Simeon: He believed and anticipated the promises; he was a man of hope; he trusted God; he faithfully served in the meantime; he cultivated his relationship with God and he allowed God to be God.

(adapted from Fear Not Tomorrow, God is Already There)

What was God up to?  The heavenly hosts had gathered in the throne room. The elders were there, the archangels, Adam and Eve, the patriarchs – Abraham, the “friend of God”, Isaac and Jacob who had wrestled with the angel. Moses, the great leader of Israel, and his brother, Aaron. Nimrod the great hunter. The kings were there – David, Israel’s, greatest king and combat strategist. Solomon, the wisest King. Hezekiah, the reformer. Joash, the youngest. We can’t forget Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Jonah. There were the all prophets gathered wondering what God had in mind but they had an idea that it had to do with the message they had delivered so many ages ago.

There were the women, too. Sarah. Hagar. Leah and Rachel. Rahab and Bathsheba. Ruth. Hosea’s wife, Gomer who had been redeemed.

No one was left out. None had earned the right to be there. No one was good enough. But they had believed God by faith and He “counted it for righteousness.” They were whispering among themselves. What could be going on? Why had they been summoned?

God rose from the throne, Jesus beside Him and the Holy Spirit hovering over all. God’s voice echoed down the hallways of heaven and the corridors of time declaring that time had been fulfilled and His plan for redeeming His people was about to commence. There was great excitement.  What would this mean? They held their breath. Would they go to battle? What was the plan?

God revealed that Jesus was going to invade time and space as a human. Not just a human, but a baby born of a woman. Isaiah nodded knowingly. In a town called Bethlehem. Micah smiled. Sending Jesus to earth to be born and live as a human, die a terrible death by crucifixion was God’s plan of redemption of mankind.

The crowd gasped. “No! Not Jesus! Mankind is not worth that. We are just a bunch of rebellious, willful, sinful, miserable creatures. He is Your only Son. Your beloved Son.  He is the darling of all of heaven.” There had to be another way. How can the infinite be contained and limited by the finite? How can God become man? What was God thinking!

Then they all stopped as they realized what they were saying. It grew quiet. They, too, had once been rebellious, willful, sinful, miserable creatures themselves. Lost and unworthy. But God had loved them enough to include them. They were not here on their own merit. It was only His great grace and forgiveness that placed them there.

The heavenly throng looked toward the throne. There was a tear trickling down God’s face. This plan was going to break His heart. His holiness and righteousness had to be satisfied.  And the only way was for Him to pay the price Himself. The crowd stood in awe as they saw God’s heart revealed and recognized the great love God had for mankind.  “God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son…” (John 3:16)

That’s what Christmas is about.

I wonder if Mary longed to do that for her baby. Was she imagining a nursery for Him? Getting His layette stocked with the things she would need? Were neighbors lining up meals to bring to her? What about her mother…was she looking forward to helping Mary give birth? A grandchild is a really big deal and it’s wonderful to be a part of the event of the birth. It’s a family event.

And then the census degree by Caesar Augustus! It couldn’t have come at a worse time. How was she going to manage? Riding a donkey isn’t a comfortable mode of transportation – I’ve done it. But not when I was 9 months pregnant. What a miserable journey it would have been. And she couldn’t have packed too many things – they wouldn’t all fit on the donkey. Why couldn’t she just have stayed in the comfort of her own home? What was God thinking? Couldn’t He have at least provided some creature comforts for the mother of Jesus at this time? I would have been questioning, complaining, arguing…being a pain in the neck. But that didn’t seem to be Mary’s attitude. When she replied to the angel’s news by saying, “I am the Lord’s servant…let it be unto me as you have said.” she meant it! She had a tender and surrendered heart. All I can say is, WOW!

We Protestants don’t give enough attention to Mary. Our Catholic brothers and sisters are better at it than we are. But perhaps this week we can pause and think about Mary’s attitude of trust and surrender and try to have a Mary heart. There will be inconvenience this week. Things won’t go as we (or Martha Stewart) planned. The tree lights will go out. The cookies will burn. The milk will go sour. The gifts you ordered won’t arrive in time…

I know none of that measures up to what Mary had to endure…but she has set an example for us all. Let’s have a surrendered heart – no matter the challenges!

I had a good trip to Missouri to speak for the Vitae Foundation. They are an organization that helps fund advertising, media spots, radio and TV ads for Crisis Pregnancy Centers. So if you see an ad or billboard or hear a radio spot for a pro-life agency, no doubt the Vitae Foundation is behind it. The are a wonderful support agency helping to get the all important message out that there is an alternative to abortion. I was honored to be a small part of their event.

My grandson, Payson, had surgery this morning to remove a piece of tissue that was blocking his airway and while in there they were going to remove his adenoids as well. This piece of tissue was making his force air over his vocal chords much more than is normal. So with it removed it will take a day or two to realize he doesn’t have to force so hard – of course after he has healed. Slowly but surely they will get him off all the medical equipment. I am grateful that we have access to excellent medical care in this country. (That is not a political statement.)

My blog is up on BeliefNet: blog.beliefnet.com/safeplacewithruthgraham/

It’s an entirely different blog – less personal. I am tackling the subject of transparency and authenticity. Take a look and let me know what you think.

Well, I am now blogging for BeliefNet.com. Visit me there! http://blog.beliefnet.com/safeplacewithruthgraham/

I am hoping to get good feedback from it as I continue to beat my drum for transparency and authenticity within the Church.

I head out today for Missouri, my last plane trip of the year!

Just got a call from my father’s chief of staff. My father is back in the hospital with congestion. They admitted him to be proactive – at 94 it is best to be extra careful. Please pray for him and the doctors and nurses.

And pray that I will be focused on the task at hand.

I had a great trip to Ashland Seminary this week in Ashland, Ohio. They have a program called, Women in Dialogue, and asked me to come speak for them. It was a full house…I spoke of my faith journey, the good, the bad and the ugly, then answered questions and signed books. Everyone was so warm – I had a great time. The next day I had the delight to finally meet David Aikman – we had breakfast together. He is a dear friend of my parents – accompanying them to China in 1988. He has written extensively about my father in, Billy Graham, His life and Influence.  He also mentored my collaborative writer, Stacy Mattingly, an extremely gifted writer who has been teaching at Boston University. She is a dear to me. David and I had a lot to talk about.

Then I was given the intimidating privilege of speaking in the Seminary chapel – my topic was, Fear Not Tomorrow. Afterwards my friend, Pastor JC Church, whom I had met through James Robison, picked me up and took me to his church. He is very supportive of my vision for encouraging the Church to become a safer place for broken people. He is a dynamic pastor in north central Ohio. I met with his church leadership and we had a great time of fellowship. They are doing transparency. I applaud them. On the long drive to the Cleveland Airport yesterday I asked him what he was preaching on this Sunday (today) and he preached me a rich sermon. I loved it!

A full trip…on Saturday morning I awakened at 3:30 AM. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t so spent concentrated time with God. He spoke very clearly to me about some things in my life I have to deal with. I think I told you back in the summer when I was on that trip to Canada – and jumped off the cliff – that one of the men in the group just happened to mention the words “submit” and “obey”. They struck my heart. During this early morning time, God put HIs finger on the areas where I need to submit and obey. And now I must do it! I’ll keep you posted.

By the way, I am starting a new blog on BeliefNet called “A Safe Place with Ruth Graham”. Should be up this week.